At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
