I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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