i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
even my farts smell like vagina
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
