So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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