You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
