This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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