I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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