Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
