worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
