I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
