If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
