Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
