you would pick up someone in the library
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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