I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You smell like stripper and shame
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
