"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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