He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
