Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She bit a glass in half.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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