is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
