he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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