So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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