i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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