remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
