A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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