'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.