Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
