All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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