i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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