FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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