Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
