I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
