yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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