Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
