At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
