I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
