I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
