So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
