you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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