i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
