she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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