I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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