end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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