I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
