I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
not ubering you a puppy
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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