she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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