I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
