Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
