You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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