You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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