That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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