one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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