What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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