you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
