You just made me feel so damn special
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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