Do you still have your period?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
