im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
