The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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