i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
