If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
