hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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