We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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