So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize