Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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