I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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