Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
